Junior just happened to fall asleep in his swing while I was making the coffee. I couldn’t seem to shake the grog out of my head this morning so the only solution seemed to be some heavy duty fresh ground coffee. Emerson goes in the swing for a couple of minutes, brew the coffee, maybe even eat some Cheerios to reduce my risk of heart disease. Simple plan.
Ring, Ring. Sears on the caller ID. Hello. Yes, this is him. This guy wasn’t trying to offer me a car loan from India like most of the telemarketing calls I’ve been getting since I attempted to get some financing for a car I bought for somebody over a year ago on bankrate.com or whatever it was – never use them, ever. He was kind, fairly well spoken and wanted to send somebody over to give me estimates on any of the eight kinds of services they offer. Would it be replacement windows, an overhang of some sort, kitchen remodel, maybe a finished basement (he didn’t mention that one, but I made it up when he asked his next question).
“Sir, if you had twenty thousand dollars what would be the first thing that you would do to your house?”, he asked. Up until that point, even though I had not yet hit the “on” button on the coffee grinder/brewer, I was interested in having a powerful, meaningful relationship with this random caller on the phone. Even though the phone rang, potentially destroying my opportunity to eat some Cheerios, I still knew that love could be present and experienced with this guy from Sears. That’s who I am after all. It’s the purpose I was born for, so I say.
Evasion was the tactic I chose. Two options came to my mind. If I had 20k laying around that I didn’t have any purpose for (and I also happened to have another cool half million laying around that I did have some purpose for because if I had 20k laying around I’d have some purpose for it. In fact, the money was not the issue. Using the money to do whatever to my house is not what I’ve been figuring I’d do with the 20k that I have laying around) what would my next project be. What first came to mind is some windows in my sunroom because the builder used just about the worst possible windows that have ever been manufactured in my sunroom. I knew it would be cooler in there with all those windows but nothing like this. Or, finish the basement. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while, wanting to do it myself really for the “fun and enjoyment” of such a large home project undertaking, but since I haven’t gotten “a round to it” for so long, if I had the 520k laying around, I’d have somebody finish the basement.
I didn’t say either of those things. I said I don’t know. I wasn’t forthcoming with the information that his question elucidated from wherever responses to questions come forth from. Yeah, ummm, I’m not really sure. He pressed on, even gave me some other questions that brought to mind the same responses. I knew I was being evasive at this point. Love was out the window. Not with this guy. Not here on the phone while the baby slept in the swing.
There isn’t much required to have love present and experience. The simplest things in life are often the most elusive. Imagine your day to day life if there was love present and experienced with everybody you came across. Imagine your work. Your home life. Your visits to the grocery store. All of those billions sharing the same affinity for themselves that they share for you. Babies wouldn’t be all that special anymore with their baby magic that makes you want to be around them.
Models are only as useful as the results they allow you to produce. Here’s my model for having love be present. I’ll need to expand on the three aspects of presence, vulnerability, and trust at some point. But use what you think they mean and play around. I’m pretty sure it’s all that is necessary. Try it with your spouse, your friends at the holidays, your mother-in-law…see what happens. Write a blog entry that doesn’t make much sense. Be vulnerable when they’re being aggressive. Be present when they’re not. Trust that if you give them the answer that you’d probably get your basement finished if you had 20k laying around that your relationship will deepen, become more meaningful, and the slightest hint of “something” will arise. I call it Truth/Love/Aletheia.
I didn’t go for it with the telemarketer. I still haven’t quite mastered being vulnerable in one area when it will affect trust or presence in another area. Let me know what you find.